Family Counseling OKC
Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
Don’t prepare the path for the child, prepare the child for the path.
Inner Treasures Counseling OKC
If you are in Oklahoma City and are currently seeking family therapy for you and your children, there are likely several questions you are asking which I may be able to assist in helping to resolve.
Raising children, whether biological or adopted can be difficult and presents many challenges we never knew we would have to face. I have found success working with families and issues of all kinds and may be able to help your family get back on the right track.
If you are currently looking for family therapy in Oklahoma City, contact me today and let’s set up a time to evaluate your situation If you are new to family counseling, your questions likely include:
Our family is having a difficult time. Can you help us pull things back together?
Sometimes life can give us challenges and those difficulties must be addressed in ways which take into consideration not only our own best interests but also the best interests of children and other family who may be living with us. I have been been involved in family counseling, both as a therapist as well as a social worker for many years. I have had much success in providing specialized family therapy solutions which involve not only the children but also the care takers. In addition, I have raised three step children. I work with both biological parents as well as foster parents.
Can you help me obtain or regain custody of my child (or children)?
If there is a custody situation involved or you are looking to obtain custody, I will also likely be able to help in evaluating the overall situation but you will need to be prepared for an honest evaluation. Call me to learn more.
Can you help me adopt a child in Oklahoma?
I have worked with many parents in foster and adoption situations. Please contact me to discuss in greater detail but in most cases I can definitely assist with the process of adopting a child – whether it be evaluation and/or counseling services which are needed first.
As a parent, do I have to attend the counseling sessions myself or can I drop off my child?
As a parent it can be difficult to process this but if you call me about counseling for a child (or email me), you WILL be expected to be a part of the process. If your child is having issues and you raised them or are taking care of them, you are part of the problem. NOT because you are horrible, uncaring parents. If that were the case, you wouldn’t have sought out counseling. Our parenting skills typically come from our own families of origin. You simply may have learned some parenting techniques that were ineffective or maybe you didn’t have any proper parent role models in your life. One of them is probably saying the phrase, “Do as I say, not as I do”. There are many other issues which can cause challenges in families but if you are living with the children then you will likely need to be involved in the process, to some extent.
No matter how much I discipline my child, they continue to act out. Can you help?
I work with families and children having a wide variety of issues and together we can create reasonable solutions to the problem. You may not always get the answers you want to hear in this process, only because the answers you want to hear are likely not the best for your family.
I feel as if I have lost control. What can I do to get my child to behave?
Parents you ARE your children s’ role models and trust me, they ARE paying more attention to your behavior than your words. You must be sure to avoid being a hypocrite! None of you likes the boss or anyone else in authority to tell you to do or not do something and then act like they are above the rules they just told you to follow. Think about it. CONSISTENCY! CONSISTENCY! Positive reinforcement is much more effective than punishment but I also understand that many will have already surpassed being able to re-create a positive reinforcement system in the home and in many cases that is where I come in – to help get things back on the right track.
What is your approach in working with dysfunctional family situations?
I will talk with your child or children as well as you but keep in mind that my philosophy and approach is greatly reliant upon a consistent approach. We may be in a situation where we need to work together to set clear expectations and clear consequences and ways which you, as a parent, are able to FOLLOW THROUGH EVERY TIME. Dysfunction is in many cases a direct result of inconsistency in the household.
Everybody’s situation is different so in our first meeting we may need to evaluate where things are currently and where we would like them to be. Again, I can only do this with the caretaker of the child as well as the child or children in the sessions with me. After we evaluate the situation there may be times when I need to talk to each of you in separate settings, however, in order to get a feel for where things are starting out, I need everybody in the home to be present.
I have already let my child’s behavior cross the line and I feel as if I have lost control!
Many of my clients who come to me for family counseling are in situations where they have already let things slide quite far in terms of being consistent with the rules they have set forth with their their children’s place responsibility where it belongs—on your child. We are all human and have made mistakes but we have to set a clear path in moving forward in which consistency is prioritized in the household. Once we work together I will strongly encourage the parents or caretakers to ensure that the consistency is being met in the household. We will work as a team to create solutions which the family is on board with.
What if we make rules and I cannot get my child to obey them?
If discipline has been an issue with your children, then making rules which can be followed and consequences which can be followed through with will be difficult but it will also be necessary. If they don’t like the consequence, they need to reconsider doing the behavior that got them the consequence! The other side of that coin, which is more effective to pursue is look for opportunities to say something positive. If you want to see a behavior repeat, acknowledge it!! Setting new rules for a household can be tough and sometimes a third party is necessary in order to create and put these rules into effect in a way which both the children and parents can understand.
Why is my child misbehaving?
Your children love you and want your attention!! If they fail to get it doing what they are supposed to, they will act out. Count on it!! One way or another, they WILL get your attention. Keep in mind too, that consistency builds trust and following through with STATED consequences helps them to learn to make healthier choices for themselves in the future. We can work together to find ways to correct the entire household behavior, not only the behavior of your children, as there are usually more behavioral problems to address than only the child’s.
If you are looking for an Oklahoma City family counselor, call me today. I will work with you and your child or children to create solutions which the whole family can agree with and cooperate with. I have been doing this for a long time and I have seen it all! I look forward to meeting you and your family.